One More Story For The Road

Back when I was a young and dumb (i.e. immoral) college student, I met a guy (we'll call him G from now on). Ok, I met lotsa guys, but this is about one in particular.

He and I dated for about three months. G crashed at my place, we went out together, we walked to classes together, I met his friends, he met mine...you get the drift. One night I find out, through complete happenstance, at a party that G is MARRIED. Needless to say, I was pissed off. Seriously, other than professors and older students, who's married in college?

Anyway, we parted ways after a very bitter, ugly scene in a bar one night. Six months later, G gets in touch with me again, saying he misses my friendship and that's all he wants. Well, I mentioned that I was dumb earlier, so I gave him BOD and we maintained a friendship, a very platonic friendship, for the next coupla years.

Life and whatnot got in the way, I moved around, he moved around and we lost touch. Then a guy from his hometown started working with me...they graduated together, were friends, etc. so this guy gave me G's e-mail address. I sent an e-mail to say hi and figured that'd pretty much be it.

Well, we've maintained contact, via e-mail only, for the past 8 or 9 years. We e-mail about everything under the sun and it's a nice, friendly, exchange and still 100% platonic--obviously since it's via e-mail and e-mail porn is really boring to me.

I get an e-mail from him this weekend saying his wife e-mailed him (he's in the army and overseas) saying he needs to "fess up about QGM in IL". He asked me if I knew anything about it....let me backtrack a bit. This woman has my e-mail address and has periodically sent group e-mails, with me included in them, about Gs status when he's been unable to communicate with peeps in the US. My name is on that particular e-mail address, so for the past 6 years, I figured she knew about me in a perfunctory way.

Anyway, I let G know I haven't a clue what's going on, especially almost 11 years after the fact! He sends her an e-mail with this bullshit story--saying he's only kept in touch with me to be polite, that I'm aware he's married and has kids (which I am, obviously), that he doesn't really have any interest to continue talking with me and will stop if she's adamant about it, but that I keep e-mailing him...yada, yada, yada. You get the picture (bad extra-marital woman; victim man). [i know all this because he sent me an e-mail with what he sent to her]

I told him to do what he had to do to preserve his life as he wants it, but I'm irked. I know I have no right to be and should really expect this, being the "other woman" and all, but damn...I consider(ed) this guy a friend and as far as I'm concerned that's just not how friends portray each other. Why not just say (if you're going to be lying in the first place), we had mutual friends in college (which we did), we'd run into each other at bars (which we did), and struck up a friendship (which we did). Yes, it's a lie of omission, but at least it doesn't portray me as some stalking, extra-marital bimbo of sorts. Selfish attitude? Yup--and I'm ok with it.

I haven't heard the outcome of this...I received a multitude of e-mails from him before he sent her an e-mail and not one word since. That's fine, I can accept it...but if this woman has the audacity to e-mail me, I think I'm going to do the "hmmm, never got that e-mail, sorry"~cuz I want no part of this game considering my part in it ended quite some time ago.

Oh and before any of y'all get on my ass about the whole married thing...remember: 1) didn't have a fuckin' clue he was married 2) dumped his ass as soon as I found out 3) haven't ever been the "other woman" in a relationship since then, though I think I've been cheated on a coupla times. 4) I ABHOR that sort of behavior as much as I do child molesters, fundie republicans, right-to-lifers, and racists.

Damn, it felt good to get that off my chesticles.

ETA: Don't get me wrong...I think wife has every right to be pissed if she thinks there's some hanky-panky going on recently, but to get bent out of shape over something so old (especially when he wasn't exactly discreet about it and she must've been a clueless idjit to not know AND the fact that i was far from the last person it happened with). I do take my fair share of blame for not being smarter and being more cautious, but I'm not going to berate myself today about something I did way back then and haven't ever done since.